Just looked through the Script and made comments (see pic below)
As you can see pointed out a few things i would like to see but what amkes this scene work i belive is its simplicity so everything i do should reflect this i do not want to make this cheesy with lots of flashy effects it needs to be three main things.
- Simple (to reflect the voice and tone aswell and very serious theme)
- Flowing (the voice just roles of the tounge and feels natural so the text should aswell we can acieve this by keeping the text its self simple and use camera to linke words together)#
- Contrasting (the clour pallet for this peice will cause the biggest problem the the shades of white and Red have to be perfect to emphsise the word
If i revolve my piece around this three rules i belive it will reflect the text, genre and film very well to a professional standard